Horrid Monday?

First day of the week! Got to say it was pretty alright, except for a few setbacks.

I cannot believe i wasn't there for my best friend when she needed me just now. Can i even still call her my best friend? I feel so horrid, and i probably have never been this kind of friend before. Whoaaa. Some kind of friend. Although my dear friend doesn't show it, i can definitely feel that she was disappointed, although she told me to drop the topic. URGH HOW COULD I NOT BE THERE WHEN SHE NEEDED ME MOST? WHAT'S WORSE, WAS THAT SHE THOUGH OF ME FIRST THING WHEN SHE NEEDED HELP. I WAS NOT FUCKING THERE. HOW COULD I DO THIS?! I am not ranting, but really, i don't deserve this kind of good friends at all. I am a disaster and a horrid friend. And worse-est, i feel so stupid asking her over and over again if everything was okay, because i can tell it is clearly not. But i went to ask? What logic. To make matters worst, i still accidentally dragged my worries and issues in, as if the situation wasn't bad already. At 10:38 pm, after the whole thing, she said that she wanted to be there for me when i wake up and when i sleep, at the cost of her sleeping time. How can i find such a friend elsewhere?! I feel so sad you know, when she said those to me. Its like she is a much much better person than i am, and i can never be such a good friend to her. Because of family constraints and studies, i don't have the time to talk to her 24/7, but after olevels, i am going to treat her much better, and my other friends as well too. Cherish them while i can.

To chill for a moment, may i just say how happy i am for Germany because they won the 2014 World Cup!! Should have betted money on it. Damn.

I recently saw Mong Chin's blog (mongabong.blogspot), and i really like her blog skin and everything! Then also Chloe Choo's blog (chloeandchoo.com) is also damn special and chio! Really want to learn how to design my own blog template. All the instructions on google is just so confusing and i am too much of an IT idiot to know how to work it out. Sigh pie. Hopefully after olevels i can go and explore more on how to create a blog skin! Looking forward!

Such a paradoxical thing. Bipolar too. Its like from emo to excitement wtf. Haish, this is Monday only. I don't know how to go on for the next few days.

"Phillipians 4:13

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."