- Fought with bff
- On the verge of losing her
- But yet i love her too much to let go la.
- So, tried so hard to win her back
After everything settled down and i thought it was all going to be okay, shit happens again. We fight again. As they always say, "the longer you spend together, the deeper you love and harder you fall". Wtf so damn true. Every little bit of things that happen both of us just gets crazy jealous. Just yesterday (4th dec), we were quarrelling about where to go out for her bday, because of that it made us both upset. So at 12am, i wanted to be the first to wish her, but damn it. Someone beat me to it. Can u imagine what it feels like? It was so xiasuay but yet it hurts me. Like i was jealous la basically. Somemore it was another close friend who wished her first, and i was second. Cmon man, it just makes me feel that im so least important. But okay nvm i dont hate them both la. Fine, so i shall stick with being the second one. What made me annoyed was, other people who wished her got like heart emojis in reply and what did i get? I got a "thanx bby". Wow. That made me feel uber important. I dont blame her though, since i made her so called jealous when i hang out/appear to be very close with my other friends. Thats fine. But i dont get it sometimes. I never ignore her, never leave her even when im angry, but yet she does that to me all the time. I dont suppose she realises it, but it hurts me so fucking badly (I really didnt wanna use vulgarities though) I guess she takes it out on me too? Because apparently she became good friends with our nball coach, and wow theyre even on first name basis. This really made me go crazy. Everytime.her.name.comes.up.i.just.cant.fucking.deal.with.it. This is bad enough man. Then seeing her play with coach, reading their convos. I cant even. When she's sad she can still talk to others, but she just refuses to talk to me. Ouch. Fine.
Other than me being jealous, she got it too i admit. I guess the frustration built when i had grad night. Took so many pictures and i had to go round hugging everyone and shit to take pics, but the bf got jealous i guess, so i had to pacify her the whole night. Im not complaining though, because idw to lose her. After this saga, the next serious fight was when i went out to illumi run with another friend. Wow, this was bad. Bf was so mad she literally wanted to leave the WA group we were chatting in. Like fml la. Another huge drama. I can understand but sometimes im frustrated too.
Why cant we get along 😔
I really dont know.
Okay i guess im just ranting. But why isit starting to crumble when we have just started building it up?
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